On Editing My Novel

I am gearing up to read the first round of edits on my novel, Without Shame. I'm realizing my skin has gotten thinner since college. Perhaps I feel more vulnerable to failure. I used to do four workshops in a week. Whenever it was your turn to get workshopped, you sat there silently for a half hour as twenty other writers critiqued your work. Even if they said things you disagreed with or they completely misinterpreted your work, you had to swallow it. There was no rebuttal. A writer's easiest defense was to ignore their words. But I took every comment into consideration, even if it was to better understand general audiences or the possible interpretations a person could take from my work. 

There is nothing healthier than that for a writer. Criticism keeps us on the ground, looking at our work critically so that we might bring it closer to perfection. In fact, I often shrug off compliments, or I take them very lightly, because I'm worried they'll destroy me - I know that a big ego blocks improvement, and it blinds artists from seeing themselves and the world honestly. It's good to get compliments here and there, though; they might offer some reassurance that you don't completely suck. Still, we must always continue reaching for our better selves.

As I prepare myself to read those edits - which very likely will slash up this novel I've nursed for five years - I will keep these words in mind: "There's no good or bad. There's practice or no practice." -Based on an oracle Chinese saying and adapted by a modern-day American, my husband. (He's the lucky one who gets to talk me through this!)

So I'm getting in the mindset. Tomorrow I will read over my editor's comments, and I will take them in stride, and my writing will get stronger. I will put my novel before my ego. I will remember that writing is and always will be a practice - finishing the novel wasn't the end game for me as a writer, and neither was finding a publisher. It is the role of my profession to continuously improve.